Look Back to Be Present
So how did I get here?
This is one of many questions I ask myself as I continue on my own journey of growth and self-discovery.
Interestingly, I don’t have to venture too far in my mind to find this answer - because 12-year-old me calls out!
She’s a lot like the “me” I am today, just without the permission to accept herself as she was. Not truly a child, but also falling short of the concept she had of an adult. Seeking the ability to demonstrate her independence while not having all the answers for why she wants to do the things she does. Trying to find her authenticity while also searching for affirmations and approval from others.
It was such an awkward age and stage, and incredibly, this isn’t limited to a single instance in our lives.
It can hit us when we are in high school or upon graduation. Again, at the onset of post-secondary studies or entry into the workforce. It can appear when we get serious in a relationship or leave one behind. It can come when we start a family, change careers or have to make huge life-altering decisions. Truthfully, we all have stages of “awkward”, and though it presents itself in different ways, it’s all the same.
During that particular stage of my life, 12-year-old me wished that my future version could have rescued her, and though I can’t go back to reach her, there are others like her that I can.
I suppose that’s why I am the way I am today….super awkward at times, trying to fly under the radar and yet wanting to contribute to the rooms I find myself in. I have a passion for those often misunderstood, who oftentimes are placed in the category of “Let’s hope this stage ends fast enough so you can be out of it”. Instead, I want to meet them where they are, because in all their uncertainty lies a ton of self-awareness and desire to learn and explore the world around them. I want to sit with them in the messiness of their thoughts as they try to piece the puzzle of who they are and where they fall in this big wide world, and allow them to take their time knowing that I’ll stay with them through it and be there to answer the questions they may have as best as I can with what I now know.
It doesn’t take a lot to be present with your present. Sometimes it’s as simple as taking a moment to look back.