Not Enough is Okay
“You have no idea how much I appreciate this! I’m so used to finding solutions on my own and the support I have received from you has shown me how much I’ve been missing out, just by holding on to that “I’m strong enough” mentality. Truth is, I’m not and I thank you for saying that it’s okay not to be”.
This is adapted from a message I sent to someone who I have a lot of respect for when I found myself in a less than desired position. I could have asked for help sooner. I felt the weight of everything that I was carrying pressing down on me, but certain habits die hard right, and pride insisting that I don’t need anyone’s help, was causing me a great deal of stress.
Why is it so difficult to be okay with being inadequate?
I laughed with my sisters-in-law the other day when we were discussing how adorable our children were when they were full of rolls and dimples from their knees to their elbows and I know I can honestly admit that I loved to emphasize to these attributes. How interesting it was, when we turned the topic to these same “flaws” within ourselves we no longer wanted to highlight them, in fact, it was quite the opposite in wanting to mask them.
If you can show me a person today who can say without hesitation that they are perfectly good in every way, I will call them a liar without hesitation and give them a hug at the same time. Recognizing our frailties isn’t about giving others the ammunition to pull one another down, but to allow each of us to be more forgiving for our own shortcomings. If we were without the need for help, to what would we benefit from reading the various books available on a plethora of subjects or accessing services and information to aid in our advancement or warrant having a contact list on our phones. Not being enough is an affirmation to know that we each need one another, every individual in our private circles, the team members we rely on to reach our targets, the healthcare providers who attend to our medical needs, and the every day people we don’t know the names of but who collectively contribute to keeping our society functioning.
It is okay to not be enough.
It is okay to ask for help.
It is okay to need a break.
It is okay to speak about that problem.
It is okay to call that help line.
It is okay to ask for a hug.
It is okay to not be okay, to not be perfect, to not have everything in your life going the way that person, that show, or that book says it should be.
I’ll be the first to admit that I failed miserably at not being enough and that my friend is EXACTLY what I needed to profess in order to START being enough… Who else is with me?
Photo from @onethinglockets (via Instagram)
There are so many organizations doing their part to support those in need. This is one that I connected with instantly. First of all, let me be clear and transparent by saying this is not an affiliate link and I don’t receive any perks from acknowledging this company but I do believe 100% in the vision of Setareh Bateni, founder of One Thing. The messages captured within each locket are truly personal and can bring a beacon of light to the recipient and a portion of the proceeds always go to an organization that helps those in need
REMEMBER, that if you are feeling overwhelmed, it is perfectly fine to seek out the help you need. If you are unable to find a trusted person nearby there are always other options:
some workplaces offer well-being services for full and part-time employees. Ask your HR if this applies to you.
Local Help Lines - there are many different help lines that can assist you with concerns or issues you may be facing. I live in Durham Region, but have also included additional resources:
Good 2 Talk (for post-secondary students in Ontario and Nova Scotia)
Mental Health Support (Government of Canada)
Me with my customized “one thing” locket (I AM: rare)